Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Wow! Two posts in one month!

Well, I'm trying to stay in the habit of posting on this blog. I have been very neglectful lately, but I have noticed that seems to be the same for some other pagan bloggers. I guess that we, as a collective group, get distracted easily by everyday life. Well, that's my problem, anyway.

I have been preparing for Midsummer. I have looking through my recipes to see what I can make out of the cupboards, as I am really poor this week, and for the next several weeks. So far I have decided to make some of my famous almond crescent cookies, and I think I can spare enough change to get a lemon and make some sun cookies. The girls will love all the cookies. It's not often, anymore, that mom makes cookies. Granted, I used to, along with a monthly full moon corn bread. I really need to get back into those good habits. We seemed much happier then. Granted, we now have to allow for a busy sports schedule (read: softball games at least twice a week, Mondays & Thursdays). So, let's see what we can do about fixing that.

Speaking of recipes, I may add a page of my favorite recipes, with references of where they came from, and in the new label area at the bottom of the posts, I will reference which holidays I use them for.

And again, I'll leave with some Pagan Humor. All you cat lovers/owners will love this, and strangely identify with it. This one is courtesy of Silver Wolf's Lair:

How to Give A Cat A Pill
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Call fire department to retrieve the cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How to Give A Dog A Pill . . .
1) Wrap it in bacon